i never saw a cockroach until i moved to new york and i'm pretty sure he was waiting behind the door scuttled under my bedpost always plotting my doom i saw him hiding under bristles attached himself to my broom and that fucker thought he had the right to go sailing in my cereal but when the light flips on the fuckers gone like something a bit ethereal he crawls into my ear at night when he knows i'm not lookin he saw the end i planned for him oh he knew what i was cookin so these earmuffs i've been wearin always keep me from hearin as he's scuttling around my floor and i swear that fucker, i just swear there he was waiting behind the door